I don’t do “hurry”. I’m a slow and easy does it girl who definitely does not like to be rushed. So much so that when my kids were little, we had a “jammie day” once a week where the kids and I would stay in our jammies all day and just lounge. I’d like to say this was to teach them something about learning to be still, but I think it may have been selfish on my part because I needed to be still. Or, as still as you can be with two little boys. I always presented it like it was such a treat (because it was a treat for me), clapping and saying, “Yay! Today is jammie day!!!”
Lately, I’ve found myself in a hurry and exhausted at the same time. I’ve been working eleven to twelve hour days at work and still trying to get my workouts in in the morning. I normally get up at 4:30 and to the gym by 5:00 so I can get my exercise in before 6:00 and be at work by 7:00 am. I wake up, run to the coffee machine, slam down two cups of coffee like I’m in a beer chugging contest, quickly get dressed and run out the front door in a damn hurry. And, no, I’m not bragging about how productive I am. I’m not one of those. I’m saying this “hurrying” thing has become a bit of a detriment to me. I’m clumsier, losing my keys and my phone all of the time, and losing my short term memory and my mind. I don’t want to be in hurry anymore.
Yesterday, I went to the gym and noticed people were looking at me in a weird way. Not in a good morning, we’re at the gym at 5 AM kind of way. I shrugged it off and went up to run on the treadmill. I started on one treadmill, but it wasn’t working very well, so I switched to the one next to me. While running I realized that I’d left my phone on the other treadmill and instead of getting off the treadmill I was running on like a smart, sane person would do to get their phone, I tried to reach over to grab mine. I simply was in a hurry and felt rushed. Well, I almost busted and skidded right off the back of my treadmill, thankfully landing on my feet. It was loud and more people stared. When I was done with my workout, I walked back down the stairs while trying to put my phone in my pocket and, to my horror, I realized I’d put my pants on inside out. This wasn’t a good thing because these pants had a built in bright white underwear panel that was very obvious on my navy leggings. I prayed a hole would open up and swallow me. This had been because I was in a hurry again. I got in my car and decided to laugh at the whole ordeal.
It seems everything in my life is done with some sort of urgency in regards to time lately. I was talking with my wellness coach last night who has kindly taken me on as a beta tester for her program. She is helping me learn how to help myself in healing some traumas in my life that I have not really ever dealt with, as well as learning to balance myself with the right foods and coping mechanisms and it has already been a magnificent journey. She suggested some things for me to try to keep me more grounded while in this busy time because I just don’t do “busy” very well. This morning I’m shaving fifteen minutes off my exercise to sit quietly and visualize how my day is going to go, do some breathing exercises and focus on gratitude. Then I’m going to go outside barefoot and stand in the grass and look at the moon. This is in an effort to become more connected with the Earth which is like a huge battery of life, she says. It’s actually called earthing and I can’t wait to do it. I’ve always loved nature and felt more grounded being in it so this makes perfect sense to me. It actually sounds very comforting and peaceful to me and I could use some peace instead of feeling like I’m being chased by a tiger, or better yet, chasing my own tail day after day. I’ll let you know how it’s all going from time to time and what’s working for me because it is such a huge part of the journey and may help someone else along the way. My leggings have been put on correctly and I already visualize a whole day of not losing my keys so we’re off to a good start.