My entire life I’ve had a hard time living in the moment. Instead of actually enjoying what was right in front of me, I was always thinking ahead, worrying about what would happen next. Or, sometimes, even simultaneously, I was thinking about something in the past. But never, or rarely, was I in the moment. …
Category Archives: Uncategorized
In a Hurry
I don’t do “hurry”. I’m a slow and easy does it girl who definitely does not like to be rushed. So much so that when my kids were little, we had a “jammie day” once a week where the kids and I would stay in our jammies all day and just lounge. I’d like to …
Samantha’s Tick Marks
A few years ago, I was seeing a therapist named Samantha, trying to sort out my feelings around my marriage and myself for wanting to wreck my family. It was a decision that was many, many years in the making and I just hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it. Instead, I’d stayed, …
The Sea Monkey Fallacy
When I was a little girl, I used to read comic books and on the back of the comic there was always an ad for something called Sea Monkeys. It showed these cute little alien monkey looking creatures hanging out and doing human things together and I was totally fascinated. I wanted them so badly …
I Prayed for Patience
I wasn’t planning on writing today but it turns out I’ve got a little time to kill so… Lately I’ve made the mistake of praying for patience. This is a lesson I’ve learned before but conveniently forgot, though I’m not sure how exactly I could have. It’s 4:00 AM and I’ve been awake since 2:30 …
Drinking
Let me just start off by saying I’m not doing a victory dance by any means. Also, this is not some sort of lecture to anyone else. All of my friends drink to some degree. More power to them. I had a friend come over for dinner last night and brought a bottle of wine …
Going Back Home
Years after my mom died, I still felt such an emptiness. Our house had been sold years before and I yearned to go back inside. I would drive down our sweet little street and slow down in front of our modest house as if trying to capture some glimpse into the past when we lived …
A Letter to Myself
As I was going through some of my writing a few days ago, I found a draft of an old letter that I wrote. It’s actually to a dear friend’s daughter that I share a very special bond with who was having a very difficult time. As I read through my notes, I realized I …
You Are Enough
I woke up this morning and rolled over to look at my phone, praying it was only 5 AM so I could get my exercise in. Nope, it was after 6 and I silently cursed myself for not setting my alarm. Then I felt grateful that I actually slept through the night which I’ve been …
Directions and Signs
Yesterday I went to church. As always, I got lost and had to use my Google maps on my phone, though I’ve been to this church countless times. This is no surprise to me, but it certainly seems astounding to other people. I’ve always had an utterly terrible sense of direction. North, South, East, West, …
Wander in the Wonder 